Jokes on Marriage

A little bit of something for you guys to laugh or scorn at… 😛 seeing politic stuff is tiring, is it not? Let’s see something else for awhile today. Haha.

WHY AM I MARRIED?
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

 

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
“Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
“Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
“Husband Wanted”.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
“You can have mine.”

 

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished

.

A little boy asked his father,
“Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

 

A young son asked,
“Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?”
Dad replied, “That happens in every country, son.”

 
Then there was a woman who said,
“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.”
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

 

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say — talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

 

First guy says, “My wife’s an angel!”
Second guy remarks, “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

 

“A Woman’s Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I’ll just beat him to death”

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, “Why don’t you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.”

The blind man replies, “If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we’d be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.”

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About cleffairy

Recently having fascination with ancient history.
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6 Responses to Jokes on Marriage

  1. Hawk Tan says:

    Aha my favourite subject, I love the rubber stick joke,

    No wonder the right nut say to the left nut, “The guy in the middle thinks he is so hard”

  2. KevinP says:

    9 kids huh??? lol….

  3. warrior2 says:

    on the part of The Favourite!

    – why the wife and not the hubby got on the bus with the 9 kids?
    – why did they walked and not wait for another bus?
    – why must the hubby walked with the blind man?
    – would the blind man know where to go by walking?

    HAHA

    Anyway, that beego divorce proceeding is very intriguing. He got married, the next day he went off to SIngapore and was there for 10 days and when he got back, his FIL didnt let him into the house and forbid him to meet the wife.
    Now, if that was in the plan of the FIL or he didnt like Beego in the first place, why allowed the marriage to take place?
    And why did the wife agreed to marry Beego is he is a jerk good for nothing man?

    As many as there are bad marriages and divorces, there are also many happily married couples and homes. It is these kind of marriages and homes that we must look up for and to

  4. cleffairy says:

    LOL… well said, Uncle warrior…

    Of all marriage I’d like to see is the ones who grow old together happily. There’s once I saw an old man and his wife around 70-80 years old at a kopitiam, having breakfast together. The very scene that take place when they were leaving touches my heart deeply. The husband was using a ‘tongkat’ to walk, and the wife held his hand and assist him to the car, chatting away with him happily, talking about how happy she is to be expecting another grandchild. Silently, I wonder if there’s a day for each one of us to enjoy such companionship with our spouse.

    Kevin… my mom comes from a family of 9 siblings….and i find it hard to recognize my aunts and their kids…. *damn*

    Lol, Daniel… stick jokes are everyone’s favorite. LMAO.

  5. KevinP says:

    Clef, I think in the past to have large families is pretty much a norm. You need free hands to tend the farm or whatever the family is doing. Today…. well, its a different question altogether.

    My mom comes from a family of 7. My dad comes from a family of 6… back in my kampung, this sundry shop owner has 10! Two twins… my parents had 4… unfortunately my eldest sister died before i was born… so my parents ended up with only 3… and I am merely doing replacement work for my next G. LOL…

  6. warrior2 says:

    Not related to the topic, but if you can go to the malaysianpolitics blog and there is an article there on blogging, the view of a tunku which you can also assess at the malaysianbar blog

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