My Aunt Iris sent me this the other day, and I’d like to share it with you guys. Lighten up, people, and have a nice weekend.
Hongkies, Singaporeans, Indonesians and Malaysians
Being Hongkies is good because…*
1. We are Hongkies and not Chinese.
2. We can talk and shout and nobody gives a damn.
3. Jackie Chan is our icon.
4. We can live in a 5′ x 5′ cubicle and call it luxury apartment. We even need to pay $10,000 a month for this cubicle.
5. Our children can speak Cantonese at a young age.
6. We get to blame everything on Feng Shui or Tung Chee Hwa
or the mainland communists.
7. Gambling is more interesting than sex. Macau is the
place to for thrills!
8. We produce a lot of Miss Hong Kong to the enjoyment of the rich and famous.
We love being Singaporean because…*
1. We are not Malaysians.
2. Everyone (especially the Malaysian) hates us, except
3. Famous for Orchard Road and we love Geylang. Geylang is
the place to go for thrills!
4. We have our own island.
5. We will never ever have yucky chewing gum stuck under our shoes.
6. We know how to enjoy our vacation in Malaysia – keep a
few RM50 notes before you enter the highway: You can throw anything anytime, anywhere and always wash our cars at the resort.
7. We can speed up to 180 kilometers per hour and not
ending up with a summon as long as we have RM50 with us to spare.
8. The men are always concerned, first question to ask a girl “Do you have CPF?”
9. Never fear of getting lost in our country – S$20 taxi
ride will get you into the sea. Hahaha!
10. We’ll never have to worry about finding Mr or Ms right because the government will find one for us.
11. 1 Singapore dollar = 2.5 Ringgit… nyek nyek nyek.
12. It’s OK to be Kiasu. It’s part of our culture.
Top reasons for being Indonesian are as follow:
1. We are not Australian.
2. We live in the biggest country in South East Asia .
3. No pirates in Indonesia water if you exclude the Navy and Coast guards.
4. Everything is cheap, even our salaries…
5. We can blame everything to Suharto or BJ Habibie or Gus
Dur or Megawati or who’s next?
6. Only in Indonesia you can get involved in real demonstrations daily for different causes and see no results.
7. Our Rupiah is like a Yo Yo, it can go up and down just because IMF say so…
8. We burn everything and nobody gives a damn. We cause
haze all over the South East Asia and nobody can do a thing… nyek nyek nyek.
9. We don’t need fire fighters as our neighbours will
Being a Malaysian is the best because:
1. World tallest twin towers, Best F1 circuit, largest roti canai, most expensive toll rates…because Malaysia Boleh!
2. We can be driving, picking our nose, cursing another
driver, talking on the handphone, adjusting the radio and bribing the traffic police at the same time.
3. We divorce by sending SMS.
4. Traffic summon can be settled on the spot with the traffic police.
5. We have Teh Tarik & Roti Canai on the Russian space
6. We can save a lot of electricity b’coz our TV shows are so crappy.
7. We can blame everything on the haze or George Soros or
government or opposition parties or…
8. Resourceful City Council, one person to drive the van,
one to carry the ladder, one to change a street’s bulb and three others watching.
9. We make 2 lane trunk roads into 3 lane highway and back
to 2 lane when polices are sighted
10. There’s always something for the JKR to do. They
dig, resurface the road, dig and resurface…
11. All main roads are designated highway because it gives a reason to collect toll and make more $.
12. Our government can never be wrong.
13. Our badminton players win already only need to pay them
RM35,000 very cheap compare to David Beckham.
14. If you’re a rich ass or Datuk, ou can divorce for as little as RM 10 million ringgit and marry a young singer you like, how god is that?
15. We can even used C4 bomb to bombard Gengkis Khan or
Kublai Khan’s descendants.
16. We have more water than Singapore … nyek nyek nyek.
17. If you got no monies you can also snatch others people
18. If you are a policeman rider you can kick and bang
people car like nobody’s business
19. If you drive a police car, you can speed cause speed
limit only apply to citizen.
20. All motor rider can join Mat Rempit club for free and can throw stones at the police station anytime they like.
21. If you got nothing to do join the Rela and go to the
kongsi gelap or Ah long and extort monies from them.
22. You can rape people and blame them for wearing very
little, what a joke, man.
23. The PM can be the world’s biggest liar,daylight
robber, sleep on the job, racist & hypocrite and get away with it.
After reading the above, I believe you will agree with me
that being Malaysian is still the best. You have to be glad that you are a Malaysian and enjoy staying in Malaysia ! You can do whatever you wan and whatever you like as long as you got the power and money to do so.
Cleffairy: Power is money and money is power. In some ways, money can’s buy love, but can buy power. Do you agree with me?