Does 3 o’clock Fairy sounds like a novel title to you? Well, to some, it might sound like a novel title, or even some bed time tales for children. Not to worry, dear readers. This is no entry about me bragging about writing a novel again nor it’s shameless self ad for my latest novel writing adventure.
This is just a little something about myself that I’d like to share with all of you out there. So please be kind to me. This entry may not make sense at all to some of you out there. I am not sure what’s going on with myself lately, anyway, so pardon me, will you?
Jen, a blogger friend of mine asked me in her comment page what in the hell am I doing awake at 3am++ in the morning. I jokingly told her that I’ve been haunting her. But the fact is, I am not haunting her. Far from that. ( I wouldn’t dare haunt Jen, I think she can be pretty scary when she’s pissed. LOL)
As of late, I found myself doing weird things. Apart from not sleeping at normal hours-because I am somewhat an insomniac lately, I’ve been doing things that many people will condemn me to hell, especially health freaks and people who are vain about their appearance.
I have been eating a lot of fattening, oily and instant junk, especially after midnight. Can you seriously imagine someone who eats a pack of nasi lemak along with a fried eggs or chicken after midnight? Or some greasy grilled cheese sandwich or a burger or two at around 3-4 o’clock in the morning? Can you imagine consuming some chocolate ice cream or candies at an ungodly hour?
Well… I do that lately. These days, when everyone in my house is asleep, I’ll make my way to my study table where my laptop is situated, root my ass into the Rolodex, connect into the Internet and click around in attempt to catch up with what the rest of my blogger friends and the rest of the world.
After awhile, I will feel slightly numb and my stomach will grumble, and that is when I will start to raid my kitchen to make myself a cuppa ice tea and some simple dishes by forking out some leftovers from dinner or something so that my stomach will not bother me with some unpleasant hard rock singing.
I should have feel guilty for eating during irregular hours and some would probably tell me that I will regret this when I am older. But frankly speaking, I don’t even feel guilty about it. In fact, I felt good about it. The food are so comforting. And it’s sinfully nice sitting in front of my laptop, visiting blogs that I am familiar with while gobbling down my not so healthy midnight snacks.
One might wonder if I feel creepy being awake at such an ungodly hours. Honestly, I don’t feel creepy at all, even with the howling of some wild dogs outside of the window. I may have been afraid of the dark when I was a little girl and my imagination run wild after midnight, but not anymore. I found that these days, darkness are actually comforting.
I feel truly at peace instead. I love the solitude of the night, especially at around 3 o’clock in the morning-where everyone is asleep and will not bother me for whatever obnoxious reasons. That is probably the only time of the day that I could truly breathe and enjoy doing what I want to do without interruption and do things that I want to do, not the things that I have to do because other people asked me of it.
Weird as it may sound, I feel liberated and myself again instead of a grumbling bitching woman who gets mad at everything that goes wrong in her life and would cut a leg to murder assholes who screw up her life.
Before any of you ask me whether I am a menapausal old woman who cannot sleep, let me clarify here that I am far from that. I’m still a hot chic who just turn 25 years old early last month.
And for what it’s worth, despite of the lack of sleep, I am glad that midnight is my best friend and though my life is a bitching adventure, I still can find peace with myself at 3 o’clock++ in the morning.
Below is a song ‘ The 3 o’clock Fairy’ or ‘San ji no yousei’- a song from my all time favourite anime, Sailormoon. I remembered that there’s a song about 3 o’clock fairy, so I dedicate this to all insomniac out there.
Cleffairy: I am a 3 o’clock fairy. Stress gets to me sometimes- make that most of the time. And I haunt my own house after midnight. Anybody else haunt their own house after midnight?
ps: I wrote this at 3:30am, and I still don’t feel sleepy.