Love is a mystery

It’s weekend. It’s cold and rainy, and all I want is just to curl up and snuggle in a blanket, read a good novel or two and sleep the day away. But before I do that, allow me to share this with you:

It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.

You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do anymore that take the life out of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body,love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life – the gift of love will come to you in full flower. Take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we all share. More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.

When this happen to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them, or try to get their love to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

You need to know this about love, and accept it. You need to treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn’t choose to rest in the other person’s heart.

If you find yourself someone in love with you but you don’t love him back, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with yourself. All our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don’t choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its time, its own season, its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery.

Cleffairy: Sometimes, letting go is also a form of love. A form of love that needs more courage than holding on. If only I have that sort of courage.

About cleffairy

Recently having fascination with ancient history.
This entry was posted in A Penny For Your Thoughts, Cleffy's Pillow Talk, Time Heals What Love And Reason Cannot and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Love is a mystery

  1. Sexy Jessie says:

    Very true and well said. It take lots of courage letting a love go and take time to heal that lost.

    BTW, thanks for your b’day wish and your visit. I’ve got cupacino cheese cake from my bf.

    • cleffairy says:

      It’s the kind of courage that I do not have, Jess… I’ve always admired those who are able to let go-wishing other’s happiness, etc. I think they are very brave.

      Can i safely assume that you had a wonderful bday? LOL.

  2. tuti says:

    not many would have that courage, cleffairy.
    you’re not alone.

    i remembered someone saying that a person in love is like a fish which is hooked, on its mouth i guess. and when you throw it back into the sea, the fish still hurts though free. in reality i guess the fish not hurting since not much sensory on the mouth la. geez i tell story like this wan. that’s why i won’t attempt to write a novel. sure alot of asterisk here and there.

    • cleffairy says:

      It’s a comfort to know that i am not alone in this matter, for I would have felt like the biggest coward for not being able to be brave and let go when I’m required to do so.

      It’s a good metaphor, Tuti. Indeed, letting go is like a fish caught and then thrown back into the sea again. But the only difference between the fish and human is human have feelings, and the hurt is more than the physical hurt. Emotional hurt takes very long time to heal.

      Anyway, for what it’s worth, the fish should be glad that it’s been thrown back into the sea. Or else, it’ll end up as a dish. *chuckles*

  3. fufu says:

    yeah… my love yet to reach me >< though i have been praying hard everyday since long long time ago…

  4. kelvin says:

    Most ppl won’t have the heart and courage to forgive and let go…

  5. eugene says:

    Can you share your love story with us?Please,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

  6. Christopher says:

    wow..cleffairy so romantic in this post…unlike other ‘garang’ posts …LOL

    • cleffairy says:

      LOL… Chris.. get a clue… lmao…I got married at a very young age… so somewhere beneath the garang-ness, there must be a hopeless romantic inside… 😛

  7. Cheeyee says:

    You know my story… you know I’m a coward too. Last 2 weeks, I dream of hb dating another women. Twice in 2 weeks. Although it’s just a dream, I have uneasy feeling about it. Sigh. Hope nothing bad will happen.

    • cleffairy says:

      *sigh* It’s good to know that I am not alone. My grandma must be disappointed in me, for my Chinese name means ‘courage’… if only I lived up to my name. 😦 If only.

      *SIGH* Poor you, Cheeyee…poor me, and everyone in the world who chooses to be a coward. I can only pray that the outcome of our choices are at least bearable.

      Men will never change. I don’t mean to sound so pessimistic, but then again, men are ungrateful creature who take things for granted. They will make you live a hard life with them and forgets your contributions when life gets better for them. They will think of repaying everyone who contributes to their success, and won’t even say thank you to their other half. Yes, they are men. Unappreciative bastards who take things for granted. My only consolation is that not all men are categorized as these kind of bastard.

      Anyway, Cheeyee… dreams are our unconscious and subconscious thoughts that we tried to bury in the back of our mind. They are memories that we want to forget but unable to lock away. *SIGH* Fortunately, there’s no proof or evidence that says that dreams are premonition to the future, so, don’t pay any heed to your nightmares, Cheeyee. I think, they’re merely illusions… 😀

  8. jen says:

    I LOVE THIS POST!!! *thumbs up*
    and hopefully love will be knocking on my door soon 🙂

  9. Wah Cleff, nice new blog design. Love is beautiful!

  10. xxx says:

    really needs a special magnifying glass 2read ur post.. however very moving ..

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