It’s been more than half a year, since I stopped updating this blog for I have moved the contents to my own domain. A step that I made initially because I thought it’s a pathway for me to earn…to help my family with those money earned. You know, pay the bills and whatnot. But I wonder…if it’s the right thing to do now? It has… costs me dearly, and eating me up.
I kinda miss this place. Should I, or should I not resurrect this one? Yes? No?
Why the hell not? What is stopping me? Bah, humbug! My letter told me to do something that made me feel alive today and do some soul searching. So… here I am.
This has been a place, though not so private, a place that I did soul searching instead of just pleasing others with what they expected to read. Nah… it’s no fun anymore.
It has become some sort of obligation that I am expected to fill. Daily updates. With no hearts in it. Absolute eyesore, if I’m honest to myself. Believe it or not. It’s been months since I halfheartedly wrote for the damn place. That ought to stop. For a while. Until I have the mood to be some sort of court’s juggler with a pokerface again.
This… has been my little sanctuary for quite some time, and now I suppose it would be where I seek refuge every now and then. If I must close this to absolute privacy, it shall be done, I suppose. My thoughts. Mine alone, and nobody else’s. I did it before, and I should do it again when I’m really in the mood, and I assure you, such thing is sheer joy and comfort.
Another option would be a completely new identity where I could go incognito… but then again… blame the lazy bum-bum. LOL. ( But hey, it is a thought. WHY THE HELL NOT, again? )
It is so disappointing that cleffairy.com has become a piece of shit, though I have gained so much from it. Friends, money… everything I had ever dreamed of. But… it has taken away my heart’s desire and shattered my soul… murdered my thoughts and my voice before it even vocalized in my throat.
I am utterly disgusted by it. Thoughts can no longer be expressed freely cuz it’s too commercialized now. I should have the domain sold, and I would have felt nothing about it.
Seriously, that is what I would have done; if I haven’t thought that the damn place no longer belongs to me, but advertisers and whatnot. My hands and legs and mouth are tied, unfortunately. I could be likened to a little mouse in a mousetrap. Literally.
Short entry. Not quite sober. My head is filled with bubbles, but still inspired. Inspired as I am. I have no heart to write some decent, picturesque rubbish for that place.
Hello world. Again. Welcome me home, sweet Love and I shall be in charge of my own personal asylum once again.
Cleffairy: Snarling monsters and hissing snakes, along with shrieking mandrakes could have been a poet, if one could understand their language.
ps: What’s your diagnosis, doc? Am I a schizoid? A certified lunatic? Whatever it is. Should I give a damn? *think* NOPE. *GRINZ*