I have once detested Facebook, but now, Facebook gives me a bit of comfort in comparison to other social networking platform, because it reminded me of who I was, through friends who grew up with me.
Closing the gap… the geographical gap in Facebook is easy, and I’ve been reunited with some of my old friends, who are mostly…the opposite sex.
No.. they were not my ex flames or ex boyfriends. My husband is my first love. My relationship with those overgrown brats are completely platonic. It’ll be rather strange to some, but I grew up with those boys. They are my brothers. They tease me mercilessly, even now, when they knew that I’m all grown up and married.
I was catching up with their lives, I realized that nothing is what it seems to be in the pictures. They have uploaded their best, smiley faced pictures, but deep inside, they told me that they are somewhat troubled.
Misery loves company, I guess. That’s why we’re brought to be together again. I daresay that this is no coincidence. This is Fate’s doing, bringing all of us back together, with one purpose: To give moral support to each other. And perhaps, being together would give all of us slight relief from the harsh present.
Davey Boy is now a photographer, and I had foolishly assume that he is completely happy and contented with his life, seeing how happy he seems to be being a wedding photographer. His career revolves around the churches, around happy couples who are tying the knot. His job is to capture their blissful moments on pictures. But he told us that he’s unhappy, which caught me offhanded, cuz all these while, he’s known for being a kinky, and a reputable Casanova. Sadness engulfed him as he told me his yearning to find the right woman and to settle down like those couples in his pictures. He sees happiness before his very eyes every day, and yet, it’s not for him to keep.
He’s well known for being a playboy, but he told me that’s because he’s been hurt by the only woman he ever loved, and his heart have been shattered to pieces, and I groaned in despair as I hear his complaints, for I can feel his misery and loneliness, and up to some point, I wonder how he can bear going to churches he himself have nobody in his life to love him like a lover.
Davey Boy is not the only one who is in misery. LCH, my sparring partner in the badminton court back in 1999 has just gotten married. A shotgun wedding. By luck, accident or rather, sheer fate, he had gotten himself… uh… his wife, pregnant. Still immature but determined to be responsible, he laments his loss of freedom, which I recognized as not quite a complain, but the fear of becoming a father and his new responsibility as a husband. He’s quite a wreck. Nervous as hell, and yet, found that he could not talk about it with his heavily pregnant wife, as he doesn’t want to worry her.
While the two nasty boys from my past complains for their lack of experience in relationship and whatnot, I told them that I am somewhat stressful and in distress. I had fitful sleep, and could not have a relaxing rest. Life has taken quite a toll on me, and I told them, I longed to go back to the beach again, and let the breeze take away my worries, like I used to do when we were growing up. I desperately need positive vibes in my life, so that I could carry on living with a purpose.
Both of them are quite shocked with my admittance that I’m feeling gloomy these days, for the entire school knew me for my cheerfulness and couldn’t care less attitude. I had no fear and no worries back then.
I told them, time and environment changed me, just like it changes them, and nothing is like what it seems to be on the surface. They see me as an established person, a good novelist with a happy family and steady life, but I told them that it’s not quite true. I write because it’s a form of escapism and it helped me to relax and stay sane.
They jokingly told me that at least I could write all my worries down. They have no such talent for writing, and therefore, they kept their emotions bottled up to the point where they feel that it could burst. I’m not sure if I should pity them, cuz I’m in not exactly in the mood to offer sympathies, as I am wallowing in self-pity like them too.
Misery… loves company. And with the little reunion chat the three of us had, I discovered that I am not the only one who are doing some soul-searching lately. Thank God for that, no? I’m not alone, after all.
Cleffairy: Love is an emotions that complicates a lot of things, and yet, we’re all drawn to it like moth to the flame.