I feel so repentant. I mean… how could I have been so blind, so ignorant, and so foolish that I thought that He would abandoned me when I needed Him the most? Is this because I am human, and it’s human nature to stray from Him every now and then?
So many things happened in my life. I used to blame him for letting things happen to hurt me badly beyond repair, but I know now. He did not let things happen because he doesn’t care for me, or had abandoned me to fend on my own, but He let things happen so that I could see clearly.
He let things happen, so that I will love Him more. His love is so great that he wanted to show me truth as I’m living in a world where people tell lies everyday and feels nothing about it.
Yes… He is great, and though sometimes, things happen causing my heart and soul to break, He never failed to become my saviour in many different ways that’s beyond my intelligence and logical comprehension.
I used to think that he did not hear my prayers when I desperately cry for Him to ease my pain…. to stop things from hurting me again and again. I did not realize til recently that He had been actually been saving me… in a greater way. He is… guiding me through my rough times.
God… He never let me endure more than I could. And at the end of the day…things always fall into place. He had closed many windows from me that I lost count, but I realized that he never did close any windows without letting a few doors open for me to go through.
God is great. His love is so great. He is merciful, and he is the bearer of justice. He gave me justice when the time is right, and I suppose… when bad things happen to hurt me countlessly, my faith for Him should not waver, because He will give me justice, and give retribution to those who have wronged me unfailingly. It is just the matter of time. He is with me, always, though I may forget it from time to time.
I used to think that He’s punishing me for all the sins that I have done. But in truth, He is not punishing me. He loved me…that is why things happened…He wanted to nudge me and encourage me to be closer to Him and show me, that He is above all-above betrayal, and above desertion. He shall… without a doubt…be with me, for as long as I allowed Him to be.
I am not able to cry on His knees til my tears could not come out anymore each time I got hurt, but he had always made sure that he embraced me and heal me in His own ways each time my heart, and my soul breaks.
Do not be afraid, nor be distressed
for God is with you wherever you go.