Have you ever felt betrayed by your loved ones? Betrayed to the point there’s left nothing of you to even feel? I am not sure how many of you felt that way, but I certainly have, to the point I could no longer forgive… to the point that I lost trust and hope, and to the point that made me think how easy I could have walked away from everything.
The only thing that stopped me from doing so…is what? Love? I don’t think so. It’s all but gone when my trust was shattered. Probably the only thing that stopped me from walking way is not love, after all… love… between humans are so fragile and ephemeral… it has been proven to me countlessly. It is… definitely seasonal… comes with the mood… the environment… the hormones. What actually stopped me from walking away is dignity… self respect… and upbringing. I am above walking away. I am brought up to be a fighter, and it’s a shame that I sometimes forget that and I lost my courage when my shield was broken.
Those who have betrayed me made me cruel and rather heartless. They made me build a fortress around me. But I need to thank them, for because of their betrayal …and because they wronged me and left me bare… I seek higher being that will look after me and comfort me without fail: God… and God’s words comforted me more than any man or woman around me could. He whispered kind words to me when I felt so alone, and I knew that I am his child, his creation, created in His image, and therefore I am worthy of the world, regardless of what people did to me to hurt me.
I am worthy, because I am created in the image of my creator, and my purpose in life, is not just to live for those who betrayed me or hurt me countlessly. I’m supposed to live for His glory.
Because I have been hurt countlessly by those whom are supposed to be loving me…I no longer forgive them. No… definitely not forgive them. I don’t forgive… or forget either. I am God’s child. He is with me.What business is it for me to forgive people who wronged another person? That ought to be their business with God.
I should let it be… not forgive, not forget, and let God give me justice instead and let what they did unto me be done unto them by others. God says, retribution will come without fail when you wronged others on purpose. That would be fitting of their punishment…being showed by God how it feels like to be wronged, and to be hurt in return. That would be justice enough, having those who stabbed me, being stabbed by others in return.
Anyway, God gave me a talent for fiction… for writing… I did not know why back then… why I am so passionate about writing, but now I believe, it is for a reason. And the reason is that He wants me to speak up through my writing whenever people wronged me, so that I shall not suffer in vain.
And therefore, that is what I shall do… speak up… and tells the story of friends, of backstabber… of people who betrayed me through my novels so that the whole would could see and I shall benefit from it in terms of emotional release as well as monetary.
Hallelujah… God is great, and He is merciful, for he has bestowed upon me a gift that shall be my shield, my fortress, and the time capsule of truth, and as long as the eyes can see, my story will be heard and other’s would benefit from it… for the world needs to know that the only pure and sincere love…could only come from up above and whatever that is down here on Earth… is just temporary.
Cleffairy: Dear Lord, when people wronged me, I shall leave it to you to give them retribution, for I believe, you would deliver me justice. It’s just a matter of time. I shall live for Your glory, not others, and I shall devote my life to please You, and not others.